There's A Bed Waiting At The Ratzinger Ranch

No one would question Antonin Scalia's commitment to the artform of the after-dinner speech. His ability to expound, without a script, on subjects large and small with wit and extreme condescension is without equal. Like most people, he thinks that because he is good at something, that thing must be very important. Unlike most people, however, he is on the Supreme Court of the United States, meaning he has the power to be incredibly cruel while enforcing his notions of proper rhetorical preparation: 

Scalia Chastises Lawyer For Using Notes

It's time to put this conservative Catholic lunatic out to pasture. Lucky for him, as of 2013 there is now a special assisted living facility designed to cater to the needs of elderly men in his exact circumstances.

Ratzinger Ranch, aka, Mater Ecclesiae Monastery inside the Vatican.

Ratzinger Ranch, aka, Mater Ecclesiae Monastery inside the Vatican.

Just think how much fun the former Justice and the former Pope could have together! Scalia and Popenfuher could spend their afternoons looking at priceless art and their evenings discussing why everything Jews say sounds like "argle bargle"!